Dreaming of Solo Travel as a Mom-LOH175

Life sure feels different these days compared to when I was single. Back then, I loved getting chances to just pick up and travel wherever I wanted, all by myself. See new places, experience different cultures, spend quiet time alone, it was so freeing. As an independent woman, I could be spontaneous and think only of myself when making plans.

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But things changed a lot after getting married and having kids. These days, I can't just take a road trip whenever I feel like it. Every single trip means coordinating around my husband's work schedule and making sure my kids are also on vacation from school. Most family vacations involve considering their needs, stamina levels, sources of entertainment and kid-friendly activities. Sometimes it feels like the days of selfish solo exploration are gone for good.

Don't get me wrong , I absolutely cherish taking trips together and making wonderful family memories. Seeing my kids' faces light up with awe at new sights is the most delightful feeling. Creating traditions and bonding as a family unit is so precious and important. I know how lucky I am that we have the means to expose our children to bits of the world beyond just our city.

Still...a tiny part of me occasionally yearns to break free from the logistical constraints and revisit that sense of independence from my single days. To have absolutely zero responsibilities for a stretch other than being present with myself. To reconnect with my identity as just "me" for a few days, not just "wife" or "mom." To experience again the thrills of getting spontaneously lost and solving my own way out of it.

Realistically, I know going totally solo for travel isn't feasible anytime soon with our young kids still at home. But sometimes I fantasize about stealing away for just a long weekend by myself here and there. Not even going far , maybe just a few hours outside Lagos to a different state I've never explored before.

I could spend mornings wandering peaceful markets without herding little ones, evenings sampling new regional foods without worrying if they'd be too daring for picky kid palates. With no other voices constantly calling for me, I could sink into my own thoughts, creativity, and introspection in a way that's so hard to achieve nowadays amid everyday family chaos.

Then I imagine how brief solo sojourns could make me a more refreshed, engaged, and appreciative wife and mother upon return. Just tiny windows of self-rediscovery so I can bring my best energy back to our family life. Even if it's simply getting a hotel downtown once yearly to roam city streets alone, that could be enough of a yearly recharge.

Of course, the mom-guilt starts creeping in whenever I allow these selfish solo trip daydreams to swirl too vividly. My responsibilities are to my family first and foremost now , how dare I fantasize about regularly gallivanting off without them? I should just be thankful for the annual family vacations we do take and stop craving more alone time. These are the years to be present and make precious memories together.

Yet if I'm being honest, I don't think those urges to occasionally disconnect and rediscover my independent spirit are anything to feel guilty about. All people need pockets of "me time" to thrive, no matter their roles. Assuming it's logistically possible with childcare coverage, maybe orchestrating short personal getaways is something to discuss with my husband down the road.

For now, I'll keep chipping away at my ongoing list of Nigerian destinations I'd love us to visit as a family ,places like Abuja, Enugu, Calabar and beyond. Sharing the gift of travel with my kids in a way I never got to experience growing up. And when the time's right, perhaps we can find that time to make even just a few solo travel dreams a reality for me again too.