What do I do to maintain self-control? – LOH # 170 Contest

This time I will answer the first question of the contest: What actions do you recommend to keep control in difficult moments?

One of the things that is most difficult for me on certain occasions is staying calm. I say sometimes, because at other times I am extremely calm. I generally lose control when I see something unfair, rude, bad. Before, it was more difficult for me to maintain control and calm, but over the years, my husband has taught me that it is better to handle things more gently. With him I have learned, (in part), to control my emotional outbursts, he has made me see that there are situations, circumstances that do not deserve any attention, any energy and this has been good for me.

Maintaining control first requires intuition, knowing when and how to act in a difficult, complex, stressful situation. This is not easy, because many times the accumulation of emotions that we experience in those moments can cloud our understanding, as well as prevent us from connecting with intuition. On the other hand, there are situations in which many factors can intervene, which confuses us and increases that feeling of loss of control. Likewise, the perception of time when we face difficult circumstances can help us lose control, since the acceleration or slowing down of time, as the case may be, can make us desperate.

That being said, below I share with you some of the practices that I usually resort to to maintain control:

• Understand that there are things that you cannot change: This is very important, because there are people and events that are immutable, that you will not be able to change, even if you desperately want to. For example, a death, or a person being obtuse and not understanding reasons, or a person betraying you, who you later discover has no values or principles; that does not depend on you, that is there and you cannot change it; all that remains is to let go of that.

• To think that everything passes, nothing is immutable or eternal: Of course, this is something that must be dosed wisely, since with this I do not mean that we are going to remain neutral, waiting for everything to pass. Otherwise, we must act, but if we see that we are making an effort to resolve something, avoid losing control and know that everything will pass.

• Wash my face, arms and hands, and if I can do it, take a bath: I believe in the purifying and cleaning power of water, so if I feel like I'm losing control, and it's within my reach to do this, I go and take a bath or wash, visualizing that all that bad energy leaves my body.
  

• Have a coffee, a tea, a juice, any drink that seems delicious to me, and if possible, accompany it with a snack: Like food and drink for me means love and comfort, and also I perceive food as something sacred, so if I can pause in a stressful and difficult situation, I do that, eat and drink something tasty, trying to enjoy and savor every bite and every sip, this has a calming effect on me.

• Try to connect with the other's feelings: If I am at the precise moment when I can lose control when arguing with someone else, I try to think about how they feel, what they think, what they aspire to, what they believe. This is hard, really hard and I don't always succeed, but it helps. This is what is known as practicing otherness, which in simpler words is: “Putting yourself in someone else's shoes.”

• Focus my attention on other things: This is like taking a break. Sometimes that pause lasts for days, but it is really better to wait, to make time, for the emotions to settle and to be able to have a more objective view of the situation.

Here I end my post, where I have shared some of the practices that I apply to maintain control. I hope some of you find these tips useful.

Image sources

• The cover image comes from the Unsplash page and is properly identified.

• The dividers used are courtesy of @eve66 who shares beautiful designs that embellish the layout of our post.

Todo el contenido, (excepto los separadores de texto y la imagen de portada) es de mi propiedad y está sujeto a derechos de autor // All content (except text dividers and cover image) is my property and is subject to copyright.

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