To Stay or Not to Stay

To stay or not to stay. That is the question. Once you meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, staying together should be an easy thing to do. Right? But the 2nd question from @ladiesofhive will get you to thinking: should I stay or should I go? If your man is not being a man, but is being a boy in front of his parents, what should you do?

Nowadays, premarital sex is rampant among young people. What if you got pregnant, and encountered rude in-laws with a partner who is incapable of standing by himself or standing up for you? Would you rather endure their maltreatment, or walk out on your relationship and raise your child alone? Why?

The first thing that a husband and wife should do would be to leave and cleave. This is essential for the peace and happiness of the home and the family they are trying to build. Leaving and cleaving would require one major thing. For the man of the house to stand up on his own and more importantly, to stand up to his parents to protect his family.

Back in the olden days, during the age of cavemen, one of the duties of the males is to make sure that his family is protected, especially his mate. If he dilly dallies, and shows any sign of weakness, his mate would either be snatched by a wild animal or by other males looking for potential mates. Now that we are in the modern age, the male patriarch faces new challenges.

One of those challenges would be overstepping parents who does not want to stop parenting their son. I am talking about those in-laws who view their daughters-in-law as a person who took away their son from her. People say it's natural. But there is nothing natural about it. Once a man reaches the right age, he should be able to decide for himself. If his parents are still taking the wheel, and does not want to let their son drive his own life, a woman should want nothing with that boy.

Now the next question arises. Would you rather raise your child alone? I posted yesterday that the person we choose as the father of our child should be a good example to our children. A man letting his parents disrespect his wife is not the person a child should emulate from. I am raising a daughter. I want my daughter to know and see that a husband, a father is someone that takes care of his family and stands up for them - even if its to his own mom. If I had a son, he will become a future husband, and I want him to learn how it is to be a good husband through his father.

If my husband was someone who does not know how to stand up to his parents to protect me, I'd rather raise my kid alone. There is no way I am going to make her see that it is normal for a woman to stay with a man even if she does not feel protected and respected. Her first lessons on being a grown up and being a wife will come from me during her childhood. And not from all the talky talky that I do, but with all the things that I do.

And more importantly, if you think you should stay with your husband despite the fact that he cannot stand up for you in front of his parents, imagine how your child will feel if she or he is the reason why you stayed and let that maltreatment continue? It is the mother's duty to take care of the family, but it is the father's duty to protect the family. It is backwards thinking to even consider staying just to make the family "complete". It would do a great deal for the child's mental, emotional and overall personality development if the parents are both happy and healthy. Even if they are not together.

To stay, or not to stay? When clearly I don't feel protected and prioritized, there is no question about it. I'd rather not stay. I'm not just saying this because I have a happy family right now. I am saying that this is a standard that I am holding dear. Once you build a family, your priority shifts from the family you came from to the family you are building.