WORDS OF THE HEART—LOH #154

Happy new month everyone! Welcome to my blog

I missed last week’s community engagement because I couldn’t relate well with the topic. So I’m happy that I’m finally writing on this particular one.

Source

When I first saw this week's topic by @emilyra333, I wasn't thinking clearly, so I knew I have to find time and write it in the morning, when I will be more relaxed and focused.

If one doesn't really think about it, one might end up saying things that aren't really necessary.
Because it's not everyone that has big dreams or has thought about what they'd do before they die. Personally, I've always pondered it, but never really took it seriously. I often wonder; "If I'm given a chance to do something before I die, what will that be?". And the answers that do pop into my head are always silly and childish.

These questions however makes me understand the importance of self-reflection. Because the first thing I did was to reflect on those things I have failed to do and those I have done. I discovered in the process a whole lot of lapses in my life.

I became sober for I've realized that if I were to die tomorrow (God forbid), I may not have a happy ghost. I would have a lot of regrets, regrets of the things I failed to do while I was alive.

This made me wonder how people who pass away at a young age feel about the things they didn't get to do. Do they ever wish for a second chance to make things right?
Maybe that's where the idea of the fable about reincarnation comes from.

This morning I had first pen down with thoughts, those things I have failed to do and those things I wish to do—my dreams. I am going to respectively share my answers to the two questions.

I will like to invite @eunice and @wongi to partake in this contest and probably share their thoughts on the topic.

1️⃣ If you were to die tomorrow, what would you wish you would have done while you were still alive?

My answer to this question is centered around one word LOVE.
I haven’t shared much love to my family.
I would love to spend time with them, eat, work, play, laugh, and cry with them. I would love to do all those things family do together. I would love to experience that moments once again before going anywhere.

Also, I would love to go back to my uncle and let him know how much I love him, and let him know how much I appreciate all that he did for me. He is a wonderful person, but I didn’t have the time to tell him that because of his wife’s death. I didn’t know how to say it, and which words to start with.
The feelings were just too much, feelings of grieve, and of gratitude. I didn’t know how to incorporate them together.

Another thing I’d love to do is to love someone. I mean have a partner.
I’d love to be vulnerable for once without fear.

I do feel I lack the right words and the proper way to express myself.
I’m not sure I lack them though, because I know I have many love words in my head, and I know plenty of ways to let people know how much I love them. But my very self is too stiff to do that, and my family and friends don’t know this.
Because I appear to be strong and fulfilled. I am sure they have no idea about the emotional battles I go through.
However, I still have the time, and I’m sure I will do it sooner or later.

2️⃣ What is your big dream for your life? If money were no object and you could do with your time whatever you wished, what would you do with it? What would you create?

Here in my country, the learning facilities in our universities are very poor and depressing.
I will see a science college with a large number of students but only a few microscopes and a few non-functioning science apparatus. What then is making them a science college? What are they learning without the learning materials?
It’s still in my country you will see a school library with 50 textbooks for all the faculties present in the school, with no single functioning computer for browsing.
Those who can afford textbooks buy them, while those who can’t afford it turn to beggars. They beg and get humiliated for the things the school should have provided.

What hurts me most is that there are still people who can't afford this “education."
And even those who can afford it are struggling inside poorly furnished school buildings.
It's sad to say, but some schools don't even have proper classrooms for learning. You'll find students standing under trees or in corridors just to study. And this is only because there are teachers who are willing to go through discomfort for these students.
It's unfair that some lecturers and teachers aren't well-paid, which also affects the quality of education that students receive.

So If money was never a problem, I would use my time to build a university for all, both the privileged and the less privileged, with a conducive environment and well-equipped laboratories, libraries, and theaters, and of course make it free for all that hunger for education.

I would build a comfortable structure with learned staff who are hungry to teach and transfer what they have learned or should I say their experiences to the younger generation.
I’d make sure I pay them well so that no lecturer will trek to school with no money to feed and cater for his/ her family.

I would create a conducive environment for my students and staff, where they will see teaching and learning as a fun and exciting adventure, not as a boring and painful experience.
I would make the study materials available and give our youth the comfort and support they deserve.

These are hard, I know. They sound more like wishes, I also know.
But I would make my wishes and dreams come true if I have the opportunity.

Thank you for reading through, and for your time and support.