LOH Contest 145: [Eng //Esp] Lo más duro de mi adultez /¿Compartir información financiera con mi pareja?
Greetings to all the Ladies of our community, as every week the topic that is addressed helps us to grow and empower us, in this edition it is about sharing a memory of one of the stages of life through which we have gone through and the other point is to give an opinion about whether it is right or wrong to share the details of the finances with our husbands?
I will begin by telling you that I am already in my third age, so I have gone through all the stages of life, keeping positive and negative memories that have marked me and have influenced my emotional growth.
I am going to tell you about the most difficult years of my adult life and I am going to refer to them because I faced the most diverse and contrary feelings, sadness, happiness, fear, gratitude, love, etc.
I married my first and only boyfriend when I was 26 years old, we had two children and when the oldest was 5 years old and the youngest was 5 months old, he died in a bicycle accident in the middle of a very tense economic situation in the country known as the SPECIAL PERIOD.
If it was hard to face his loss, even harder was the pain and suffering of my eldest child who felt him coming and would run out of my hands to hug someone who looked like his father, when the little boy turned three years old he imagined a character called Perico Bertún, who took him on bicycles to the circle and carried him on his shoulders, he secretly told me that Perico Bertún was Richard, that is his father's name.
Without a doubt I was able to get ahead because of my children and the love of my family and other people close to me, I received all the support in the world, people who seemed proud, indolent, they offered me their hand and I learned that you should not judge anyone at first glance, that we must accept everyone with their faults and virtues, I had to smile when I wanted to cry, because my little ones needed me strong and I owed it to all those around me, with whom I will always be indebted.
After 5 years of widowhood I started a relationship that still lasts and has been for 22 years my partner in struggles and victories, a man my boys consider him as a father.
Well, with him I have no financial secrets, between the two of us we plan and assume the expenses of the house, because we are an established and well consolidated couple.
However, the decision to share financial details with a partner is a personal matter and depends on the situation of each couple, as well as factors such as traditions, culture and education.
In macho societies, where the man feels more powerful and can even use this financial information as a source of control over her and therefore influence and question her decisions, it is advisable to have some privacy in this matter 😉.
What I do consider is that the couple should have clear and open communication on the financial issue, draw plans together, discuss expenses and general financial goals agree on it to ensure that both are on the same frequency and can move further.
I appreciate your reading and comments. The photos are my own. Use the translator DeepL.
🌺🌺🌺
Saludos a todas las Ladies de nuestra comunidad, como cada semana el tema que se aborda nos ayuda a crecer y empoderarnos, en la presente edición se trata de compartir un recuerdo de alguna de las etapas de la vida por la que hemos transitado y el otro punto es opinar acerca de ¿resulta correcto o no compartir los detalles de las finanzas con nuestros esposos?
Comenzare por decirles que ya estoy en la tercera edad, por lo que he transitado por todas las etapas de la vida, guardando recuerdos positivos y negativos que me han marcado y han incidido todos en mi crecimiento emocional.
Les voy a hablar de los años más difíciles de mi vida adulta y voy hacer referencia a ellos porque afronte los más diversos y contrarios sentimientos, tristeza, felicidad ,miedo agradecimiento, amor, etc.
Me case con 26 años con mi primer y único novio, tuvimos dos hijos y cuando la mayor tenía 5 años y el más pequeño 5 meses fallece de un accidente de bicicletas en medio de una situación económica bien tensa en el país la cual se conoce como PERIODO ESPECIAL.
Si fue duro afrontar su perdida lo fue más el dolor y sufrimiento de mi niña mayor la cual lo sentía llegar y se me zafaba de las manos para correr a abrazar a alguien que se le parecía a su papá, cuando el chiquitico cumplió tres años imaginaba un personaje llamado Perico Bertún, quien lo llevaba en bicicletas al círculo y lo cargaba en los hombros, me dijo en secreto que Perico Bertún era Richard, ese es el nombre de su papá.
Sin dudas pude salir adelante fue por mis hijos y el amor de mi familia y demás personas cercanas, recibí todo el apoyo del mundo, personas que parecían orgullosas, indolentes, me tendieron su mano y aprendí que no se debe juzgar a nadie a simple vista , que debemos aceptar a todos con sus defectos y virtudes, tuve que sonreír cuando quería llorar, porque mis pequeños me necesitaban fuerte y se lo debía a todos los que tenía a mi alrededor, con los que siempre estaré en deuda.
Después de 5 años de viudez comencé una relación que aún perdura y ha sido desde hace 22 años mi compañero de luchas y victorias, un hombre al cual mis muchachos lo consideran como un padre.
Pues bien con él no tengo secretos financieros, entre los dos planificamos y asumimos los gastos de la casa, porque somos una pareja establecida y bien consolidada.
Ahora bien la decisión de compartir detalles financieros con la pareja es una cuestión personal y depende de la situación de cada pareja, también influyen factores como las tradiciones, cultura y educación.
En sociedades machistas, donde el hombre se siente con más poder e incluso puede utilizar esta información financiera como fuente de control hacia ella y por tanto incidir y cuestionarse sus decisiones pues es recomendable tener cierta privacidad en este asunto.😉
Lo que si considero es que la pareja debe tener comunicación clara y abierta en el tema financiero, trazar planes juntos, discutir los gastos y objetivos financieros generales ponerse deacuerdo en ello para asegurar de que ambos estén en la misma frecuencia y puedan avanzar más.
Agradezco su lectura y comentarios. Las fotos son de mi propiedad. Utilice el traductor DeepL.
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Me alegra muchos que después de haber pasado esa situación tan trágica hayas encontrado a alguien con quien no tienes secretos financieros, eso quiere decir que confían el uno en el otro, el éxito en una pareja. Saludos 🤗
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@irenenavarroart gracias amigas fueron tiempos difíciles pienso que la relación con mi esposo es que ya éramos maduros yo tenía 39 y el 50 ,ambos veníamos de experiencias difíciles, el perdio una hija adolescente , necesitábamos de mucho amor para estabilizar. Un fuerte abrazo
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Its great to find the meaning and purpose of life again. Glad to see u moving on
@fredaig Thank you for your beautiful words, we should always try to push to get ahead.A hug
Yahhh finding yourself its just the first step to move on and let go. Oh! And thank you for thanking me ☺️☺️
We share our earnings and expenses, as we consider our family as unity. Though I also have the freedom not to ask when I want to buy myself something. I know there are some families where the wife has to ask the husband for money to buy herself a shoe or a dress etc. I can't understand that, I can't accept that, though I guess it is in some societies like that, unfortunately. As you say, it depends on traditions, culture and also education.
@mipiano It is difficult to understand how women with all that we contribute and the role we play in society, there are places and even families that do not give them the space they deserve, so we must continue to insist on these issues and educating the new generations.A Big hug
Amazing life story!
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Oh so sorry for that difficult time of your adult life, glad your family love helped you get through it.
Thanks for participating sis.