THE TIME I WILL FOREVER REGRET

11 months ago (Edited)

I never thought I will get to share my story here, but after reading @mrenglish entry, I thought to myself, it's life; there are always lessons to learn. For the first time, it feels different talking about it, because it's easy to talk when you are at the viewer's end of a real-life experience. But the moment you are the one in the experience, you begin to realize the nothingness of life as your life and decisions flash before your eyes. Like almost every youth and young adult out there, I would dream of a glamorous wedding, making my parents proud, and being able to boast about how I met my spouse.

But unfortunately, right now I have come to realize that there are certain experiences in life that the only people who will ever get to understand to a reasonable point are those that have experienced it. And in this case, even a married spouse who never got to experience pregnancy out of wedlock will not be able to comprehend what it means to the individual in that predicament.

Before now I look at single mums, especially those who became single mums as a result of unwanted pregnancy as loosed and unworthy, but my view changed when I got to experience it firsthand. Perhaps some of these women are loosed, but if There's anything I will commend them for, is that they are strong. One might not understand what it means to take on a responsibility so many will refuse to take it up. Also, I use to criticize those that did not have the strength to take on such responsibility, but now I have understood how much society can lead one into committing suicide because of principles that even they might not be able to keep.

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Okay, forgive me if I'm being all emotional and personal in this post, I just feel everyone should be heard before they are judged. Moreso it's better to not judge others for what you can never imagine happening to you. My last relationship crashed because of an unwanted pregnancy, not because of the decision to abort, but because I realized that I couldn't be with someone who was that selfish and manipulative... If you have read the post I made about my last relationship, you will understand better. But I'm not talking about relationships in this post but rather unwanted pregnancy lol.

So my girlfriend (now ex) told me she was pregnant a month after we started dating. (I don't want to expatiate on how the sex part happened, but it wasn't my doing at all... But then again I'm just a guy.) I was scared as hell, I had traveled for Christmas, for what seemed to be my worst Christmas and new year experience. When she told me, I made sure not to panic, so I don't scare her into thinking I wanted to avoid her, I made sure to calm her down ensuring her nothing was going to happen to her. I took that day out to think about everything and decided that I would rather keep the child.

Now I made this decision knowing full well the kind of family I came from; apart from the shame and how such an act is seen as an abomination because my mum was literally disowned from her royal family and stripped of all titles and entitlement because she had me. Until my granddad died and only her mother's people took her back after she married my dad. Now I'm in a similar situation, my mum could die of a heart attack, and my family totally disowned while her step-brothers are still looking for a way to settle the scores even at this time.

Image by tirachardz on Freepik

But even as I was gathering the moral for the decision I made, I called her to ask what she wanted to do, and she replied "I can't keep it" although I was still in school, I had already made some calls to work with a very reputable company. I couldn't work there because I was in school, but due to some connections I have there, I could get the Job without any school certification because I already have all the experience and qualifications. I was hoping after school I will immediately start working but with how things turned out, I didn't mind throwing all my plans, goals, and pride into the Sea. But she was resilient even when I said I was ready to marry her if her parents demand. She insisted still. I was still thinking about persuading her the more when her mum called me to warn me about not keeping the child, I tried explaining my intentions to the mum, but she wouldn't burg too. My girlfriend went ahead to do the abortion, through a D & C, but then she found out she was carrying twins, and only one was aborted in the first process.

All hell was let loose as she and her mother started disturbing on getting drugs to terminate the pregnancy. I ended up sending them the money seeing all my efforts proved abortive. She had her way, for reasons I can't understand to date. Perhaps she felt I wasn't good enough to take care of her and a child, I don't know. That action started opening my eyes to some red flags I would normally overlook which eventually led to our break up. But I guess at this point my stance on unwanted pregnancy is clear. But I will say it takes two to decide with more power in the hands of the one carrying the pregnancy.

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11 months ago

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