Weekly engagement wk13/ Shifting the African mentality of parenting.

I have grown up in a very tough home, when I say tough I mean a home where you will have to take caution in whatever you do as any little mistake can land you in very big trouble. A house where parents keep their distance from the children African parents believe that if you keep a close range with children there will be no respect from them so the best way is to keep that distance that keeps the fear in them as they can hardly dictate what your next action will be.

But that is not the kind of parent I want to be.

I want a place where the children will feel free to run up to me for any problem. A place where they will be able to tell me their opinion on how I will manage my resources which I never had as my father will ask you if you are the one working for him that you will tell him how to spend his money.

A place where they can easily tell me how much they love me which I have never done to my parent and my parent have never said such words to me, that word can be healing enough when one is going through a lot but we saw it then as a taboo, My dad had never said it to his wife they saw it then as such word will ruin the future of their children, they never expressed their love by even kissing as they saw it as also a taboo, but then the absence of all these things does not mean that the love does not exist but the only difference was that the love was not brought into physical for us to see and testify, and that made us feel then that they never loved us.

Source

I do not want to repeat such parenthood to the next generation.

A father who will run around with his children as they play is a privilege I have never had we only play with our peers then and even at that we do it with fear of not being caught as we were deprived of the right to play outside that made us less exposed keeping us in the bondage of watching just our screen.

I want to be a parent where my children can easily associate with the outside world without much stress.

Above all I want to be a parent that will keep going and not break down at any point just because I implore and circulate ideas from old and previous knowledge. I should be able to update my ideas as the globe changes as well so we can keep our good lifestyle going.