WE160: Date and the African Men

African men detest anything that makes them less manly. This culture had been inherent in the blood that flows through our veins and so would never accept a date offer from a lady, most especially the first. Not because we don't want it but because we believe it doesn't connote the attributes of strength, responsibility, headship, and manliness. Unfortunately, I have such a kind of blood circulating in my veins and thoughts. I like to be incharge and anything that makes me feel less of this, I decline. The feeling of being in control as a man ( The African man) is priceless, I may not really call this pride, even the ladies want men who possess these attributes , so it becomes a response to their call.

I've once had a date offer from a lady. She was a friend of mine who somehow wanted to appreciate me for friendship. I didn't directly decline it but prayed it never holds to avoid what I'll tag "The shame of irresponsibility" - The date didn't happen and I was glad things went the way it did. Since that moment, I've tried to avoid putting myself in a position where a girl would offer me a date. I don't know how I do it but it just happens, where a lady feels I'm capable of paying for any date. To be honest, even though I feel the joy of this manliness, I secretly desire for a lady who would look beyond the appearance of my manliness and offer to pay for a date, either first or the subsequent ones.

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Sometimes I wish I didn't have this blood running in me, sometimes I wish I could be pampered, but No! That's not the African men's way. We've been made to believe we are strong and is head over the women and so we have the guard that says

. So at any point in life, I'll always prefer to ask a lady out for a date and not the other way round. I prefer to be in charge, that's what makes me a man and that's what makes me responsible and that's what makes me the head, and this headship needs to be demonstrated in actions. If you've ever heard the statement;

You are the man

from a lady, then they simply means Act like the man that you are or claim to be

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This is an article in response to the weekend engagement concept 160. You can find the original post here