My Mama told me...

In life, we are inevitable to mistakes. What makes us avert certain mistakes sometimes are advice we get from people who have walked through that same path we are following. I didn't grow up with my parents, but I had a chance to go stay with her during my industry training after my National Diploma program. My mum is someone who was brought up by a woman I consider to be disciplined. Her mum had ensured to teach her what life was and never gave her a chance to practice the foolishness that comes with growing up. At that time my mum had considered her mum to be wicked, but realized later on in life how helpful all the training had been a blessing to her.

Every privilege my mum had to sit with us and discuss, she ensured she told us about life and how to make certain decisions in life for our benefits. One piece of advice I had not forgotten is about relationships and finding a perfect partner for myself to take as a wife. One fateful evening she called me to her store where she stores grains and acted as if she wanted me to help her arrange some bags of grains. Then she enquired if I have a girlfriend, at that time I was not in a relationship so i told her no. She said okay and proceeded to what she wanted to tell me.

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#Advise 1: Check if she is a supportive partner

She started with, I know you're working hard to make a living but you may not be financially buoyant at all times and this is why a woman who is supportive is important in a man's life. To know this, call the woman you're dating and tell her you're in need, act as if you're broke and make sure you do it when you know she has money to support you. If she goes all the way to support you, then be assured she'll stand by you when things go sour in the future, else, you'll get married to someone who wouldn't support your growth.

#Advise 2: Know how angry she becomes and how easily she forgives

She arranged a few bags of grains then came back to the position where she sat and continued. She said she knows everyone has anger but what matters the most is how easily they forgive after every fight. And the only way to find out is to annoy the lady intentionally and when she is angered, then I should try to apologize and see how long she takes before she forgives, her reactions during the period of grudges, and what works well for her as an apology. Whatever she does during that period would help me understand the woman I'm marrying better.

#Advise 3: Measure her friendliness with your family

One major concern for my mum is that we marry a lady who does not love the member of the family. She said , when the woman you marry is in a good relationship with every member of your family, marriage becomes easier for you both. If there's anything she had stressed the most, it's this particular talk of relationship. I've held this advice closely and I know I do pass them to my children.

This is in response to the Contest by the @qc-community. It's still valid for participation

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