LOH #145 | My first attempt to be independent [ENG/ESP]

9 months ago

ENGLISH

A memory of a part of my transition from adolescence to adulthood: How I went from living at home with my parents to living on my own for the first time.

I think there are very different views on whether a woman should move out of her parents' house to live alone or wait until she gets married to move in with her husband. At least, that's the way it is in my environment.

Most of the girls my age that I know are either living with their partners or with their parents, and I understand that there is always the fear and belief that a woman is vulnerable if she is alone. I grew up hearing those words that made me afraid of the world.

And, unfortunately, I know many women who have them deeply ingrained in their minds and hearts because of their own experiences or those of other women they know, which make them live in constant anxiety, even panic. Maybe that is the explanation why I am "risky", as I am told: no man has ever threatened my physical integrity.

When I was presented with the opportunity to house-sit for a relative who did not live there, I was thrilled, but also extremely anxious. I had a job to support myself, but I worried that it would be more difficult to meet my goal of saving for something I needed. This was because the job I had at the time was two weeks a month, and the pay was not great.

But I had to be brave, I would take that step someday anyway, right? Fortunately, there were not only people who discouraged me by claiming that I was still too young, or that I wouldn't be able to take on the responsibility that all this implied; there were also those who believed that I could do it. Although that was another issue that distressed me, what if I failed them? Those, and many other thoughts overwhelmed me.

It all happened so fast, so fast that I had to make the decision whether or not I was going to take care of that house overnight. But I had been looking for a place to live on my own for so long (I was 18 years old), that I didn't think twice. These relatives helped me move my few belongings the next day, and some of them accompanied me the first night.

It was a huge house all to myself, and the next day, when I had to spend my first night without anyone to accompany me, I confess that anxiety and panic came over me. I began to think of every avenue of escape and to plan how I would defend myself in case burglars broke in. Some of my plans were far-fetched, and others didn't really make sense. But it just goes to show that I had been influenced quite a bit by the fear of the women living around me, even if I tried to be brave.

One thing that stuck with me was people's reactions when they found out I lived alone, especially one question that almost every woman asked me:

-Really? And aren't you afraid?

Or even me:

-How brave you are! I couldn't sleep in peace if (they mentioned the husband or another man living with them) wasn't there.

Little by little, with ups and downs, I found the sense of responsibility, then the right place and the right time, and now my circumstances are different; but I do not regret that hasty decision, because from it I draw valuable lessons for today.

ESPAÑOL

Un recuerdo de una parte de mi transición de la adolescencia a la etapa adulta: De cómo pasé de vivir en casa de mis padres a vivir por primera vez sola.

Creo que hay puntos de vistas muy distintos respecto a si una mujer debe irse de casa de sus padres para vivir sola o esperar a casarse para mudarse con su esposo. Al menos, así es en mi entorno.

La mayor parte de las chicas de mi edad que conozco o están viviendo con sus parejas o con sus padres, y entiendo que siempre existe el temor y la creencia de que una mujer es vulnerable si está sola. Yo crecí escuchando esas palabras que me hacían tener miedo del mundo.

Y, lamentablemente, conozco a muchas mujeres que las tienen profundamente arraigadas en su mente y corazón por experiencias propias o de otras mujeres conocidas, que las hacen vivir en constante ansiedad; incluso, en pánico. Puede que ahí esté la explicación de por qué yo soy “arriesgada”, según me dicen: jamás ningún hombre ha amenazado mi integridad física.

Cuando se me presentó la oportunidad de cuidar la casa de un familiar que no vivía allí, sentí una emoción grande, pero también muchísima ansiedad. Tenía un trabajo para mantenerme, pero me preocupaba que sería más difícil cumplir mi meta de ahorrar para algo que necesitaba. Esto debido al que trabajo que tenía en ese momento era dos semanas al mes, y el sueldo no era la gran cosa.

Pero tenía que tener valor, de todos modos, algún día daría ese paso, ¿no? Afortunadamente, no solo hubieron personas que me desanimaban al alegar que aún era muy joven, o que no sería capaz de asumir la responsabilidad que todo esto implicaba; también había quienes creyeron que yo podría hacerlo. Aunque eso era otro asunto que me angustiaba, ¿y si les fallaba? Esos, y muchos otros pensamientos me abrumaban.

Todo se dio muy rápido, tanto que tuve que tomar la decisión de si iba a cuidar esa casa o no de la noche a la mañana. Pero tenía tanto tiempo buscando un lugar donde vivir sola (tenía 18 años), que no me lo pensé dos veces. Estos familiares me ayudaron a trasladar mis pocas pertenencias al día siguiente, y algunas de ellos me acompañaron la primera noche.

Era una casa enorme para mí sola, y al día siguiente, cuando tuve que pasar mi primera noche sin nadie que me acompañara, confieso que la ansiedad y el pánico me invadieron. Empecé a pensar en todas las vías de escape y a planear cómo me defendería en caso de que se metieran unos ladrones. Algunos de mis planes eran descabellados, y otros realmente no tenían sentido. Pero eso demuestra que sí me había influido bastante el miedo de las mujeres que viven a mi alrededor, aunque yo tratara de ser valiente.

Algo que se me quedó grabado fue las reacciones de la gente cuando se enteraban de que vivía sola, especialmente una pregunta que casi todas las mujeres me hacían:

-¿En serio? ¿Y no te da miedo?

O me incluso:

-¡Qué valiente eres! Yo no podría dormir en paz si (mencionaban al esposo u otro hombre que viviera con ellas) no estuviera.

Poco a poco, con altas y bajas, fui encontrando el sentido de la responsabilidad, luego el lugar y el momento correcto, y ahora mis circunstancias son diferentes; pero no me arrepiento de aquella decisión apresurada, porque de ella extraigo valiosas lecciones para el día de hoy.

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41 comments

@hivebuzz 74

9 months ago

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@osismi 65

9 months ago

@dfreitesp querida un paso significativo a la adultez, ser independiente! Me imagino la mezcla de sentimientos, pero lo lograste Felicidades.

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