My love language

When it comes to love, a lot of factors affect our view of it and influence how we reciprocate it. Our childhood has so much influence on how we tend to give and receive love. I can't be so sure of this fact, but when I saw this week's topic, I did some soul-searching and discovered that my love language is a result of my childhood experiences.

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While growing up, I didn't spend enough time with my family due to the nature of their job and because I was sent to boarding school. My mom was available, but my dad was hardly at home due to the nature of his job.

At age 8, I was sent to a boarding school that was 275 km away from home. Every last Saturday of the month was visiting day, and that was the only time visitors were allowed in my school. My family hardly visits; all they do is send whatever I will need for the whole time I am in school. I felt I was loved less because I watched how my friends and classmates always had their families around during visiting days. The joy and fun during those moments cannot be described. I cried during those moments, and that made me feel as if I was abandoned to suffer alone. No one truly cared about me, and the best way to get rid of me was by sending me to boarding school to perish alone.

I was able to hold on for 6 years until I was done with my secondary education. Something sad happened on my graduation day. My family was not able to make it to my graduation. I was so pained, but I think I was already used to them not being available.

That period passed, and I was admitted to the university. During my matriculation, my family was not around. I stayed in school for four years, and during my graduation, my parents were still not available to celebrate my level of success and achievements.

I understood clearly that situations and circumstances made everything play out the way it did. But one resolution I made was that I couldn't get married to someone who wouldn't have time for me and my children. I remember those days when I felt lonely because my family was not around when I needed them.

During those moments, they would send gifts, we'd make calls, and I'd receive amazing text messages from them. But all these cannot be compared to how I would have felt if they were around physically.

So for me, my love language is quality time. This is something I can't trade for anything. The fact remains that we spend more time with things and people we love. If you truly love someone, you'll always want to be around them.