My tips to Recovery...Loh #235.

Life is unpredictable. One day we are making huge plans and writing down big dreams in our journals and the next thing we hear of is ... .death or loss of a loved one. I dare say nothing brings the worst form of emotional pain like death does.

Death we all agree is the state of lifelessness. When death comes, everything it lays its cold hands on vanishes. Death has no respect for anyone. It doesn't respect your status, your class, your tribe, your Creed, your skin colour, your aspirations or even your religion. It is an unwanted yet essential part of life because living things die.

Personally, I have suffered grief and emotional pain. Starting with my mum, who passed on in her prime then to a favourite uncle of mine, whom we lost to hepatitis, a dear friend and colleague at my place of work who died mysteriously and many more people that I can't mention here. Their death in itself doesn't hurt me that much. What hurts and causes grief is the fact that they will no longer walk this Earth anymore.

I remember how I held on to my mum's phone just in case it rings and I'd have to answer it for her. I refused to destroy her Sim card. I thought “maybe she didn't die. Maybe she's playing a prank and she will call her number and when I pick up, I'll hear her say April fool”. Those thoughts came from a place of denial and eventually, I had to let go.

In response to the #loh prompt for the week. I follow these tips to recover from emotional pain and grief and I sincerely hope these tips will help anyone who's grieving.

The first tip that helps me recover is to “cry”. Yes, I know that some people term crying as a sign of weakness and in my country, people who come to sympathize with anyone grieving usually say things like “Be a man”, “Take heart” and all that but the truth is that nothing heals the heart and soul faster than crying.

I'm not referring to tears of sentimentality or ones shed for showmanship. I'm talking about genuine heartfelt cry and outbursts. Scream if possible but let the tears flow. What happens when you cry like this is that your soul and body comes to a point of rest and acceptance of the loss. Only the mind still remains in a place of denial.

Another tip that helps me is “relishing the memories” of that loved one who has departed. I force myself to recall the beautiful memories we shared while that loved one was alive.

Sometimes, I immerse myself in work and just keep busy. I do this with my airpods plugged in and I listen to my favourite tunes. I do this to tire myself out so that I'll not have time to sit and grieve.

The most important tip of all that has helped me is that “I face the reality”. I force myself to move on knowing fully well that this is a part of life. I encourage myself with God's words and promise that I'll see my loved ones again at the resurrection. This helps me not to grieve hopelessly.

I also pray and hand over the pain that I pray to God, asking for joy even when it seems difficult and God has been faithful. He always releases joy into my heart, helping me to cope with the loss.

These are my proven tips that help me recover from emotional pain and grief.

Thank you all for reading.

Images used were imagined with Meta Ai