Hello to the Ladies of Hive Community! Welcome to my blog. Nowadays, I 'm disturbed and broken. Many a times, I 'm lost in my painful memories especially when I 'm reading or talking to someone. I want to hide myself from my families and friends. There is a heavy depression and stress that is unbearable nowadays for me. I 'm unable to forget those painful memories when I had done everything for my GF but she left me alone panicked.

My nightmare about her, source

It had been a year but still those memories are like fresh wounds in my heart. Everyday, when my Hive Pakistani mate @dlmmqb talked to me and advised me after predicting my situation in discord, "Aslam keep yourself busy to get rid off these situations" Although, I have followed his instructions but they are not completely working for me. When I slept after keeping myself busy in watching movies or dramas, then there is a que of dreams in which I can see myself getting deceived from my lover. These dreams never leave me alone and everytime I woke up and burst into tears. Sometimes, I screamed with pain how is this happened? There are following recurring dreams that are big source of my stress and depressions nowadays. These are pointing all these following things, I shared here.

Being attacked by Someone:

Last chat I did with my GF was about her separation from my life. She pretended she is okay and want to take time from this relationship. I just replied it is fine if you need time, takes it and didn't make any debate with her. I never think of hurting her by my words. After taking time, she came into my dreams. Mostly, these dreams ended when someone attacked at her. I 'm afraid someone will harm her.

Someone ready to attack her, Source

Failures that are chasing me:

After facing this break up, I have seen many dreams. All these dreams are connected with my failures. Without her, I 'm afraid I shall not be able to move forward and shall make progress. These fears are chasing me into my dreams where I 'm in front of interview panel. This interview finished with my rejection. It is all due to instability in my comforts zone. May be, my brain got permanent damage. Hence, I 'm unable to perform well in each field of life.

Terrors for Failures started chasing me, Source

Insecurities in my dreams relating to her:

I have many insecurities relating to her that I have seen in my dreams. I can't share her without anyone. I 'm too much possessive about her. She was disturbed to see my behavior. Anything that was disgusting for her, I changed and even now I 'm totally change as she wanted. At the end, when everything was fine, she left me alone. I have following insecurities relating to her that are mostly part of my recurring dreams.

1. She is helping someone in my dreams and someone is playing with her. I woke up crying inside to see this scene.
2. She made trust on people easily and every second person hurt her when real face of that man exposes. She is making trust on new friends in my dreams and they are deceiving her in her back. I woke up with tears to open her closed eyes.

She is entrapped by deceivers, Source

Conclusions:

The recurring dreams are due to our dispered thoughts that are dominant in our minds. If we are worried and think a lot about it, mostly these things came in our dreams a lot of time. It is not so easy to defeat these thoughts. Similarly, I 'm fighting in these dreams for someone because I had fought for her in my practical life. The fears and doubts relating to her are mostly in my dreams.

This was a real post covering my nowadays dreams. I submitted it for the LOH Contest #141 after reading post. I hope, you will understand my current conditions. Thanks!

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