Ladies of Hive Community Contest #43- The hardest lesson to ever learn and usually always too late.

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(Edited)

Lovely ladies of Hiveland, I say good evening to you all and I hope that you are doing well, feeling happy, healthy and creative where ever you are and whatever you are doing.

I have been busy wandering down memory lane of the past couple of days as I organise and scan my old photos.

It has been both entertaining and painful as I see so many photos of family and friends, some still here and some gone and as I have been back in our 6th strict lockdown by myself again, I as always, have things to do- projects to starts, continue on with, complete as I don't like to waste time- I don't like to waste opportunities like these ones to be able to do what I want and need to do without the daily grind of work getting in the way, however this one has been a bit different as I'm not as motivated to do the things I need to do, I'm not as creative and colourful as usual, I feel a little bit lonelier than usual and I'm really, REALLY missing my Mum.

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I actually hate to waffle on about Mums, cause there's so many people out there that have never had one. There's also so many people out there that have had bad Mum's. And there's so many Mum's that should never have been Mum's, but I'm going to dedicate this post to the most important person- women, in my life, my mum- hopefully resting in peace.

I was really missing Mum before I started going through the boxes of photos and now I'm finding things that I've never seen before and being reminded of the things that I regret not saying to her, not doing the things I should have done for her. Not really seeing her for the women- the human being that she was.

And this is The hardest lesson to ever learn and it has come way too late.
https://peakd.com/hive-124452/@ladiesofhive/ladies-of-hive-community-contest-43

Among the things that I have found was 2 pages on a little notebook with a list of girls names that she was thinking about while her and dad were waiting for the adoption application to be processed.

My names. For me.

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And then just yesterday I found this poem that she wrote, though to be honest, I don't actually know if she wrote it or not or copied it from somewhere, but regardless, it's written in her handwriting in pen- which is another thing I want to have of her.

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And this is another thing I found hidden away in a box and obviously she bought it at some stage to give to me...

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And this is a card that I gave to her on her 50th Birthday and although I'm sure that I read it and it resonated with me then, I wish that these were words that I could have read and reminded myself to tell her every day, as many of these words resonate with me even more know, when I can't repeat them to her.

But then on the other hand, I shouldn't have had to be reminded.
It should have come naturally.

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Each line resonates with me for a different reason though-
"I often take the time to reflect on you... well no, certainly not enough anyway and not enough did I acknowledge her as a women in her own right.

An individual human being with needs and wants.

Often times, I am so caught up in my own life. I am so caught up in my own life.... words fail me.... But guilt and regret incessantly gnaw away at my heart and soul because there is never a truer statement written.

And although we give our Mum's these cards for their birthdays and Mothers Day, we need to say these words and more to them every day, genuinely mean them and really show them how incredibly grateful we are and just how much we love them.

And it is the lack of thought, realisation, acknowledgement and ultimately the lack of genuinely caring, loving and appreciating MY mother, the women who gave up everything that she ever wanted to do, for me and that is by far the hardest lesson that I have ever had to learn and it has come far too late.

So I'd like to invite @mamrita @breezin and @marisa0949 to join the Ladies OF Hive, for I'm sure that they all have as much to give as need our support too.

🐠🐃🐌🕷🐍🐓🦆🐸🐁🐿🦋🐢🐞🦍🐈🦆🐥🐜🦑🐛🐄🦇🐪🦏🐳🐊🦀🦌🐖🐢🐏🐋🐝

And unless otherwise stated- ALL photographs, are all my originals taken by me sometime in the past decade or so somewhere in my travels and as such, ofcourse they are subject to all international IP and copyright laws and I may have already used them for my own commercial purposes here https://www.redbubble.com/people/CHOCOLATESCORPI/shop And here https://fineartamerica.com/art/chocolatescorpi, So please ask first if you want to use any of them as we wouldn't want you getting into trouble. Thank you 😊

🐠🐃🐌🕷🐍🐓🦆🐸🐁🐿🦋🐢🐞🦍🐈🦆🐥🐜🦑🐛🐄🦇🐪🦏🐳🐊🦀🦌🐖🐢🐏🐋🐝

The Ladies of Hive- your own crypto world girl gang full of fun and suprises, so click on the link to find out more about this brilliant community of caring, companionship and creative contests, such as this one....https://peakd.com/hive-124452/@ladiesofhive/ladies-of-hive-community-contest-41

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@hiveaustralia, formerly @teamaustralia check us out now!



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11 comments
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Too often we run out of time to truly express our feelings, extremely difficult now looking back with similar feelings running through my head @chocolatescorpi.

Mum's know, they remember how it was to be our age, somehow timing interferes with making precious time to express exactly what we feel.

Treasure the notes and letters often guidance still flows through even during uncertain times we living through.

@tipu curate

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Thanks for sharing @chocolastescorpi.
Good luck with the contest.
Ladies of Hive is here for you.
This is where we can exchange ideas and be inspired by the stories of others.
Perhaps we have the knowledge to share or perhaps we need to learn from others.
No matter what it is ... do it on Ladies of Hive.
You are not here just for yourself.
We are here for each other.
Meet other women in the community!
Get others involved!
Support each other!
And let's have fun!

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Don't worry @silversaver888, there's not a day that goes by where I don't think about the ladies and the ladies of hive and wish that I could join you here all the time, but time flies all too fast and I miss the things that I need to do and miss you guys the most, But I'm always here, lurking and proudly promoting with my banner and plan to be far more involved.

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Sweet! That would just be fine!
Time flies alright, would you believe it is the middle of August already...
pretty soon it will be the end of the year.
School is starting up again on Thursday, @chocolatescorpi!

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Unforunately yes, we are almost at the end of another year- which means nearly 2 years of living with Covid still raging around the world, with it seems like an even bigger increase in natural disasters too...

Makes you wonder just how much worse it's going to be next year...

We just went into another 2 weeks lockdown- with curfews again, so this is week no. 3 in our 6th lockdown- and will total 5wks- unless we go further after that...which I'm not usuallly that worried cause I have so much to do anyway (even though I'm broke...but am very good at being extremely frugal anyway).....but that means I'm now going to miss my dad's 86th birthday...

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I hope it will be better!
The governments are awfully cautious right now, and we have no choice but to obey.
It's only when you go out.
But I'm sorry you're going to miss your Dad 86!!

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Yes well this version of covid is raging through the populations like the wildfires have been everywhere.

I really don't think that it should be up to the Govts to tell everyone to pull their heads in and be sensible..but then I guess there is no commonsense and as much care and concern for others as there was...

Well hopefully dad will last for another few months until I can get up and see him...(suprised he lasted this long after mum's death in 2017 as mum was his f/t carer...)

Anyhooo what can you do...

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Everyone has a different relationship with their Mom.
I never developed the depth you have with yours.
My Mother spent a lot of time working outside the home, more than my father and also a better income too so I developed a much deeper relationship with my Father.
Now that my Mom has succumbed to Parkinson's disease I still wish for a deeper one between us but it is not very possible in her condition.

Thanks you Sister @chocolatescorpi for sharing your Mom's love ❤️

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I'm sorry to hear that you weren't able to develop a close relationship with your mum, but even though she's got Parkinsons, I think that there's still a close but different type of relationship that you could develop with her now...

I know that when I was mum's F/T carer for the 9mnths before she died, we were able to build a bond that we had previously built 35yrs before, that had been severed by time and lives, and when we did, it was totally different as our roles were completely reversed.

So I hope that you are able to develop that deeper relationship- even if it's not mother/daughter, but maybe daughter/mother /friend whatever...still try though cause it will be worth it in the end. And even if it doens't work to the way you wanted atleast you will be able to live with yourself and lot better as you will know that you tried instead of giving up.

I never did become a mum myself- sort of by choice at the start, but more simply because time got away from me in the end.

Though I'm not and have never been particularly enamoured with babies or children, I have always been extraordinarily maternal with animals and friends and humanity in general...

Goodluck to your family and I hope that as things deteriorate, they will also improve in other ways.
XXX

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