The night that didn't seem to end. - Halfway through Ukraine.

The good thing about daring to drive through the most eastern part of Ukraine to the most western part with a big group is the moral support. The bad thing is that it can slow you down a lot. There were times I almost wanted to demand being dropped off on a train station because of how exhausting it was starting to get. But what started as a team, had to end as a team.

Just like too many cooks spoil the broth, a group of guys with women and children meant huge arguments on routes, breaks, and speed. The guys wanted to persevere through the tougher times, but we all had needs that had to be taken care of. Be it breaks for coffee and tea, toilet breaks, diaper changing or whatever.

I still remember the morning of 27th coming from the night of 26th. Those few hours felt like they were never going to end. Actually, the first part felt like we weren't going to make it, the second part felt like we were going to die, the last part felt like the sun wouldn't rise.

We reached the city of Kr*******sk. It was safe then, not anymore. However, it is still being used as a hallway to the west. To get there we were guided through a cleared path in a forest by the Ukrainian army. It was a slight detour that would extend our total ETA by 2 hours. However, it was the safer route.

Once we made it into the city, we were pretty drained. You have to understand that the mental pressure was much more daunting than the physical. The weight it had borne on us was intense. Just a few hours back we had passed through a road which was recently shelled. So we were shitting bricks and trying to make it to safety at the same time. The gigantic distance to cover wasn't helping either.

The men split into groups at the city center to look for hotels to spend at least 6 hours in. We wanted to get some sleep and carry on as soon as possible. The only problem was, we all came to the meeting point empty-handed. Not a single hotel had a room. NOT ONE. I even asked one hotel to let the wives and kids rest in the lobby but they refused since it would be against security protocols.

We started dialing up every hotel we could find in the area and everyone who picked didn't have a place and the others didn't even pick up the calls. So what were we to do? Sleep in the car where we can barely sit any longer? Under open sky? Better call the cops and see what they can do.

That is what we did. Called the cops. I didn't believe that it would bear any fruits. But it did. I was so surprised. The cops told us to wait where we were and gave us a number to call. Then started an ingenious process of finding us a place to rest for the night.

So basically, we went through 4 or 5 phone calls. Only the first 3 were conversational. What I mean by that is we had explained our situation on the first 3 calls. Each call ended with a new code word that we had to say to the person on the next call. In the final 2 or 3 calls we didnt even say "hello", just the code words.

It took some time, around 30 minutes. But eventually, we were finally given an address. Some of us were not Ukrainian passport holders, just PR with citizenship or rights, so it took some extra verification. We realized they were trying to keep away spies or informants or whatever.

We ended up on the gate of a kids school. Behind us was a family from Czech Republic who were also trying to escape from Kharkiv. Not us nor they knew what was going on but we both went through the same process.

One of the guys with us caught a person peeking through a window of the school. Around 15 minutes later that same guy approached our cars and took us into the school. This was a pop-up shelter created for the homeless and travelers just today. The "staff" (who were mostly volunteers and teachers) were so friendly and apologized for the shabby and unprofessional character of the system since it was the first day only. Little did they know how much were they helping and that no one would ever complain.

The classrooms were emptied and beds were placed instead. Communal sleeping space for everyone and anyone who needed it. There was drinking water, a toilet, a kitchen with utensils, and a place to shower too. So much done within a day. The only thing we had to do was sign in our names.

Although it felt like it was heaven at the moment, it would soon become a night that still frightens me. I remember after we all washed up and fixed our beds where we would go to sleep, us guys went out to discuss our next routes. There was a lot of information pouring in through telegram and viber so we used that to decide where and how to go.

But as we were discussing the routes, we saw fighter jets fly above our heads. It was crazy. There was no way to tell if it was a Russian or Ukrainian jet. But it was heading northish. Maybe to Kiev? I was panicking. What if it was aiming here? Nevertheless, we finalized a route and left for bed.

I really hoped I and my friends would get a good night of sleep. Maybe we jinxed it. Not too long after, just as I slipped into sleep, I was woken up by loud explosion sounds. So loud and close that I could see the window next to me shake. This was close. Very close. I wanted to get up, check the time, wake others up, and leave immediately. But I couldn't. I simply couldn't move. I was paralyzed.

Have you ever had one of those sleep paralysis with the ghosts? This was that on steroids. Awake paralysis with death literally knocking on the window. The first big bang was bad enough, but then stated a barrage of what I think was shelling. A never-ending continuous bfft, bfft, bfft, grrrt,grrt, and so on. It just went on and on and on. Just typing this is making my heart race. It was bad.

At the moment, I couldn't get up, couldn't move, couldn't shout. I had accepted that I could die any time now. It felt like the sounds wouldn't stop ever. Even if the explosions didn't kill me, the window right by head would shatter and kill me. There was no positive thought in my head. Eventually it stopped. All of it. I was sweating and extremely tired from it all and slept without even realizing it until I woke up next morning.

I prayed that it was a bad dream, the events of the night, but I could see it on the faces of everyone around me. There were kids and mothers looking at each other and vacantly at others too. We all had the same look, one that read lucky and scared at the same time. I wonder who slept through it and who were paralyzed like myself. We never spoke about it, it was too scary to talk about.

In the coming days we didnt stop anywhere to rest. We didnt want to risk anything. It was tough but we pushed through. I want to share the few pictures I took to send my family so that they worry a little less.